2007 Thanksgiving Update

I love the Filipinos! (Or Pinoys/Pinays). They are some of the most gregarious and considerate people I know. I guess I'm a bit biased on that part.

Click on the pictures on the side to see the event (soon to be posted).

Latest update:
- My sister is expecting a baby in January
- My sister-in-law (my brother's wife) is due next summer.

I saw the Osmond's in Oprah and the headlines used to capture my interest was that there were over 100 Osmond family members that were going to be in her studio. The next thing I see is Marie Osmond being in Larry King live being interviewed for the same reason.

I had forgotten how big my own family is. Let's see, my father has 7 brothers and 4 sisters, making that a full dozen set of kids with an average of 3-5 children per family. Two didn't have any children of their own so we'll multiply 10 by 4. Now add their own set of kids, plus great grandkids. But the Filipinos are not limited by their immediate family, add in my cousins, and their kids. So we got the Osmond's easily beat without a doubt and a blink just with the immediate family alone.

For the most part, it's been over 10 years since we've all been together (the people present last night at my birthday). My oldest brother enlisted in the Air Force when he was 18 and he is now 28, so he says. But since we're sticking with facts and the truth, add another 10 years to his age. But his full set of hair and with my balding head makes it look like he's the young one in the family.

Before this gets out control, let me clarify one thing, not all of my father's siblings were present. Just four were, I think. There were so many people at my Dad's house that I had to ask how they were related to us. I found that one was my brother's friend from the Air Force, someone he met 16 years ago! My sister also had a friend there from who-knows-when. My dad's friend from the time he was in his 30's was also there with his wife and kids.

I'm learning that good friends are an extension of family. I've learned it from them.

Now I'm not even counting my mother's side. My mother had 2 brothers and two sisters, bringing it to a total of 5 kids. Just imagine my dilemma when I visit family members. We rival any paparazzi when taking pictures. It's been a tradition of sorts to say "one more", "the flash didn't go", "wait, use mine!".

Now, the love for family is very evident when my father's cousins children are still considered a member of your immediate family. I've stopped trying to figure out the family tree. But I guess I can always add them on with a disclaimer on the side.

With a big family such as ours, I must add that we really aren't perfect (but who's family is?). I guess my cousin Carlo said it best during our lunch at a Chinese restaurant. He was asked to bless the food, and one thing he said caught my ears: "Help us to love and forgive..."

It really is in the family we learn to first develop relationships. Families help us do that. Learning how to forgive and to move on is such a vital part of any relationship. Criticism bears nothing positive but only ill-will and hurt feelings. Each member of the family brings with him or her, a unique difference that helps bring out the best (and worse) out of each other. A healthy family realizes this and aids this difference in becoming the family's strength.

My cousin Arnel (from the mother side) and I chatted last night. He mentioned his own experiences with his family:

but even if I've let them down a number of times, I can still feel that they get upset because I underachieve. and I can feel that their support is there. Trying to push me up as much as they can in their own little way.

I believe this clear self-recognition allows him to have a healthy relationship with his own family. It is only when we take the time to realize our own weaknesses before we point fingers that creates a healthy environment for communication and understanding.

But then again if all else fails, there's always the high-heeled boots discipline. Ate Cathy (pronounced Ahh-teh, denoting older sister), my dad's friend, showed it best last night when her two teenage sons were using each other as punching bags in the van as they were leaving, so she threatened to hit them with her high-heeled boots. She got out of the van and tried removing it. But it was all zipped up so she couldn't remove it as easily. It worked though, the boys calmed down. I can't believe how much those boys have grown. I used to change their diapers. I even told them that! They just looked at me weird.

There is nothing more effective than the loving threat of a mother.

Other highlights:
- My uncle came up to me and told me he really likes Romney. I told him, I'm still not sure who I'm voting for.
- His wife is voting for Guliani, while my Dad and sister are for Hillary.
- My cousin is voting for another guy.
- My cousin Carlo pointed out he remembers me tying him up in a chair and me tying his cousin, Andre, in a sleeping bag. I had to ask, was I mad? He reassured me that we were only playing. But then again, he said that in front of his mother so who know's what the real truth is.
- His sister Trina, reminded me of the time I taught them how to swim which made me say, but I didn't know how to swim. We laughed at that one. She clarified for me that I held them up on the water and they practiced their kicks.
- I've been accused of having no tact when talking to people by strangers, but last night was the highlight. I haven't seen Ate Cathy and Kuya (term of endearment for older brother) Vic and their kids in ages. So when I saw two of their 4 sons (13 and 15) I went up to them and asked: You don't remember me do you? I used to change your diapers when you were kids! They looked at each other and I couldn't help but laugh.

Overall, it was fun reminiscing. Family is everyone. I guess that's my Filipino coming out. There were enough quirks and family drama to pass around and share it with others but the time of being with family was a healthy event. I enjoyed the good memories that brought laughter. I was beginning to forget them. Speaking of forgetting, I met a man the other night who asked if I still remembered him. I said no. Everyone was shocked and tried to help me. I still had no clue. He left and all I could think of was he was a neighbor from my childhood related to someone at the party.

It was a time of re-building relationships. A time to move and to let go. Time is too important to wade in bitterness and loathing. Learn to talk to each other, not about each other, clear up the emotions, and then enjoy the sunrise. It was beautiful this morning.